Five of the best accident excuses

Shaving your bikini line is certainly and original excuse for a crash, but how do you think a vicar ended up with a potato up his bottom, or a dwarf got his penis stuck in a hoover? Click here to find out.


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How do you think you could get a penis stuck up your bottom? That's right, hanging curtains.


1. Naked lady in the back seat
They weren't shaving, but this driver blamed a five-car smash on the naked lady that happened to be sitting in the back seat.

22-year-old Teah Limitone was driving along as normal, with a naked lady in the back seat, when her naked passenger made a moaning noise, according to the St. Petersburg Times.
When Limitone turned to check on her flesh-flashing passenger, she flew through a red light and straight into oncoming traffic.


2. Vicar has a little trouble hanging curtains
We think everyone has probably heard a version of this one at some point, but this is probably one of the worst examples.
It appears a vicar was hanging curtains in his home, except this time he decided to do it naked. As you would of course, seeing as how there were no curtains, the most obvious thing to do would be to stand NEXT to a window, completely in the buff.

Unfortunately, he happened to come crashing down while attempting this feat, and fell onto a tool that is absolutely vital for hanging curtains - a potato.


3. A bench can be sexy too
Li Xing managed to get his penis caught in a bench in a deserted park after dark.
Eventually he had to be taken to hospital with the bench's 2.5-metre-long metal base still attached to him.
Mr Xing decided that honesty was the best policy, simply telling police that he thought it would be fun to have sex with a park bench.


4. Man goes nuts on his penis
It seems men can't help but put their penis' in things, and this Malaysian is no different.

The poor guy just wanted to make his penis bigger before getting engaged the next week.
Obviously, the best way to do that is to hang a nut from it to weigh it down. Unfortunately for him, he then got an erection, which prevented him from removing the nut. In a cruel twist of fate it seems the nut then prevented him from losing the erection, leading to a vicious circle of nut-on-penisdom.

5. Excuse me sir, you seem to have a hoover attached to your penis
Captain Dan The Demon Dwarf had to head to hospital after he managed to superglue his penis to a hoover.

Thankfully he had a perfectly reasonable argument for how he ended up in such a predicament - it's his job.

That's right, the 42-year-old is a performer who pulls a vacuum across the stage with his penis, and before this particular performance he had to do a bit of maintenance to his old hoover.

Unfortunately he ended up supergluing himself to the household appliance - we're sure A&E had a few raised eyebrows!

mmmm ...amazing ...

Love it ......

Heee-heeeee.......






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