Rules of the Air

1. Every take-off is optional, every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous!
4. High speeds are not dangerous. Coming to a sudden stop is dangerous!
5. It is always better to be down here, wishing you were up there, than up there wishing to be down here!
6. The only time you have too much fuel on board, is when you are on fire.
7. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the airplane, used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
8. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
9. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the airplane again.
10. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
11. You know you have landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
12. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
13. Never let an aircraft get you somewhere your brain didn't get five minutes earlier.
14. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everybody keeps talking about, might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
15. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you have made.
16. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
17. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience, before you empty your bag of luck.
18. Helicopters can't fly. They are just so ugly the earth repels them.
19. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not as they should be.
20. In the ongoing battle between airplanes going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to loose.
21. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgement.
22. It is always a good idea to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.
23. Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.
24. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It is the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
25. The four most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you, runway behind you, air in the fuel tank and a tenth of a second ago.
26. Lastly, always check the runway number; then double check!