Five of the world's worst robbers

David Holyoak: too ugly for a life of crime

Not every robber has to be supermodel standard, but when you look like Shrek, maybe it's time to consider another career path.


David Holyoak was collared due to his, er, 'distinctive' features, meaning police in Manchester didn't have the hardest job in tracking the violent robber down.


‘With his big ears and rotund features he stands out a mile, and the officers have no trouble spotting him. He must be a total liability when he is part of a gang.' Stated an officer at the time of his trial.


‘He has already been dubbed Shrek and must be one of the ugliest robbers in the country.’

'Invisible robber' caught due to incredible lack of invisible powers.


An unfortunate Iranian man forked out just under £290 to a 'wizard' who gave him spells that would apparently render the cunning criminal invisible.


Unfortunately for the man in question, the wizard might have been a bit creative with the truth.


After calmly walking into a bank in Tehran, he began snatching money from bemused customers' hands, who eventually wrestled the robber to the ground.

After being told that everyone could in fact see him, the shocked robber stated: 'I made a mistake. I understand now what a big trick was played on me,'


Armed robber foiled by spoon



This is what a spoon looks like, for anyone in the world who was in doubt
Joey Geracy, 39 was charged with armed robbery after entering Williams Supper Club in Muskego and grabbing a teenage girl before demanding money.

Unfortunately for Geracy, he hadn't banked on the most dangerous of weapons at the staff's disposal. A spoon.


A wily chef grabbed a serving spoon and proceeded to hit Geracy, before grabbing him in a headlock and calling the police. Spoons 1, Armed Robber 0.

While I'm here, can I have a job?


Probably not the best way to get that all-important interview, but Demetrius Robinson allegedly filled out an application before robbing a Golden Pantry store in Georgia.


The job application gave Robinson's name and an uncle's phone number, but a phony address.

First rule of being a robber: don't forget to steal

A would-be robber in Toronto, Canada had prepared his disguise well, sporting a cape, a Scream mask and surgical gloves.


Unfortunately his hours of costume decisions distracted him from the main objective, namely stealing. After demanding the bank's cash, the cashiers began bagging money, at which point the world's worst robber promptly fled the scene with nothing.


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